 "By knowing my breath, I know myself." ~Brother Phap Hu In our last blog, we discussed how you can’t force inner peace, how it can only be cultivated over time with daily practice. How trying to relax can inadvertently create more tension inside. But that doesn’t mean that you are completely powerless over your inner state. In fact, there are things you can do right now to bring yourself out of stress and into balance.
It begins by understanding that your nervous system is essentially a safety system. When it detects danger, it ramps things up so that you can either fight against the threat or run away from it as fast as you can. In times of stress, your heart rate and blood pressure increase, your breath becomes short and shallow and your muscles brace to protect you from potential harm. To bring yourself out of stress and into calm, this ramping up process needs to be reversed. However, heart rate and blood pressure are part of the autonomic nervous system, meaning they are not under your conscious control. Breathing is also technically an autonomic process, since it happens automatically in the background, without you having to think about it. While you can’t directly control your nervous system, you can influence it with the one thing you do have control over: your breath. Since you have control over your muscular system, and since the diaphragm is a muscle, you can consciously control how deeply and fully you inhale and exhale. Releasing tension in your diaphragm allows it to drop down away from the rib cage as you inhale and then gently rise back up on the exhale. When you breathe slowly and steadily like this for a few minutes, your nervous system will detect that you are no longer in danger and dial down the stress response accordingly. So, the next time you are feeling anxious, check in with your diaphragm. If it is locked up against your rib cage, then your chest will be tight and your breath will be shallow. By releasing the diaphragm and deepening the breath, you can easily guide your nervous system back into balance. It’s not the same as forcing yourself to relax, think of it as consciously creating the right conditions for relaxation to naturally take place.
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 “Within you, there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” ~ Hermann Hesse Have you ever found yourself in a peaceful moment- a moment where there is no rush, no urgency, nothing immediately demanding your attention- and yet you aren't able to relax? You sit down, but your shoulders stay tense. You try to breathe, but your abdomen is tight and your chest feels constricted. You want to rest, but your system feels like it’s on high alert. You try to relax but your muscles are still braced against potential threats to your safety- both real and imaginary.
Most people think that stress only happens in the mind- that by changing your thoughts, you can change your reality. But where stress really takes place is in your body. Stress feels like pressure building up on the inside. It feels like a furrowed brow, a tight jaw, a closed throat, and shoulders raised up towards your ears. It expresses itself as shallow breath, as elevated blood pressure and rapid heart rate. Stress is not just racing thoughts and emotional volatility, it’s a somatic, embodied feeling of danger. Even when life slows down and gets quiet, your body is still acting like something has gone horribly wrong and it’s up to you to fix it. So, what can you do to let go of stress? It is going to take some commitment on your part. You can’t make yourself feel calm just as you can’t think your way into presence. As Alan Watts used to say, “You can't force your mind to be silent. That would be like trying to smooth ripples in water with a flatiron. Water becomes clear and calm only when left alone." Stillness, therefore, is not something that you achieve by force, it is something you cultivate through practice. The good news is that your nervous system is not hardwired, it’s adaptable. Neuroplasticity means that the nervous system can change over time through repeated experience. You can’t stop life from being stressful, but you can cultivate inner peace by training your nervous system to return to balance. A single moment of calm, or the occasional moment of clarity, is not enough to make a long-term impact. To cultivate more equanimity in life you have to commit to the bit, so to speak. Only by repeatedly returning to a state of harmony can you begin to create new neural pathways, leading to real, lasting change. |
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About The AuthorNick Hughes is a massage therapist, yoga instructor and co-owner of Well Being. Influenced by the ideas of Alan Watts, Eckhart Tolle, Ram Dass, and Deepak Chopra, Nick presents his unique take on human existence with the goal of helping others live a happier life. Archives
August 2026
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